i have been feeling considerably shitty recently. and so close to christmas, damn.
really, im confused about me. i hate who i am. everyone feels like this sometimes im guessing. but knowing that doesnt make anything better at all.
im happy that im actually listening to music. im contemplating from changing from "dont you know who i think i am" to "when it rains" - i feel a sudden obsession for that song.
last night, a certain someone im crushing on kinda frustrated me. he said he wants to talk about me for a change. then we were, "im guessing you wont elaborate, so lets change the subject" "actually i will elaborate but if you want to change the subject"
that happened i think twice. maybe thrice. the point is, changing the subject in circumstances like that doesnt make me feel as if you care, if you get what i mean?
probably not.
well, i am overdramatic.
what else. today was alright, cookies and rocky road to say the least.
i feel fat.
what else. i somehow feel used or something. i know people dont care what i have to say sometimes. i have beem reading fanfics all day. sometimes i wish i had that friend to lean on. they one who cares, who doesnt talk about themself when they know im upset or need to talk. you know what i mean?
i want a best friend.
someone to hug when im crying and feel like crap.
someone whos always there for me.
someone who tells me their honest opinion.
but of course, that person only exists in stories.
x♥x
