im sick of all of this
every single part of it.
its all the same thing over and over again.
ive been told so many times over that it could be worse
but to be honest, that doesnt help me in the slightest.
so, im taking what i have for granted
that doesnt mean you need to keep rubbing that fact in my face everytime i feel like shit.
you know, over and over im being put through this.
something is done or said
and suddenly i latch onto you and never let go.
never.
brock.james.michael.christian.jacob.matty.geoff.shaun.
you might think you know what that means.
but you dont have the slightest idea.
so cliche, your eyes may not have been to dye for, but i wish i could hold onto that smile forever.
why did i have to look away?
why do i have to keep searching everything up?
im only making myself 9357209487502 times worse.
every time.
waiting is fucked.
obviously there is a reason i fail every time.
right now i need someone to talk to
and i have not a single person.
there used to always be someone.
but now theres not.
o one is here when i need them most.
in fact. most of the time no one is here to ever know what goes through my mind.
well my mind is a fucked up place
and its fucking messed up at the moment.
would you all stop fucking using me.
you know what?
im over asking if everyone is okay.
i try to be nice. i am nice.
every time.
and every time
i get problems dumped on me
before the person just disappears as if i was never there to begin with.
fuck you all.
im not asking anymore questions and
im not listening anymore.
being nice hasnt gotten me anywhere
so what the hell is the point of trying?
i give up.
being a cold heartless bitch starts now.
"youve got such a wonderful kind heart
youre going to get everything in the world"
but i dont want to wait anymore.
