here i go again.
obsessed.
i want to change every single part of me.
i dont want this to happen anymore.
but theres still some of me
that just wants to drop everything to continue this.
ive lost all focus.
no more consentration.
i dont see any point in anything.
all i want to do
is nothing.
i want to obsess over my obsessions
and not have to be bothered about it.
but i will be.
i always will be.
three days ive spent in that prison.
that joyful, addicting prison.
i cant help myself.
take it away
tear it apart
please, i dont want to ignore anything for the pointless arguements,
the hope that i'll know you,
or the stab in the heart representing my disappointment and depression in realising theres always someone who has to do things a little better
and shove me further into the dark corner ive spent most of my life in.
i cant sleep.
or maybe i can if i actually could ear my fingers away.
theyre wandering over this keyboard as if they cannot be controlled.
in a similar way you cant tear yourself away from that cocaine youve been on since last year.
im giving myself insomnia.
and regretting every moment.
i litrally cannot stop myself.
i keep editing this post to stop myself lying in this bed.
im sorry for not talking to you all.
im too busy being a fuckwit.
stop me before i throw you away.
im doing it unintentionally
i dont want to
and i cant help it.
whats happening to me?
